I thought I was Superwoman, but I am really a Sovereign Queen.
A little over a year ago, my husband and I decided to move our family. It was a new adventure for us, but I did not realize that preparing for this move would shift things for me as profoundly as it did. At this time, I was in the early part of my second coach training program and supported by a group of like-minded woman. I had a lot going on as it was, between the program, building my coaching practice, being a mom to three young kids and managing our home. My husband was traveling quite a bit for work, and I had no family around me for support. I didn't realize it at the time, but I felt alone, exhausted and disconnected. I just thought this is what I 'should' be doing--all of it, a good job, and a superhuman multi-tasker. Yes, I thought I was superwoman.
I wanted the sale of our home to be a huge success, and I worked hard preparing for our Open House. It was a success, and we sold our home in three days. Yeah!!! However, it was at the cost of my health. I found myself falling into the third stage of adrenal fatigue, and I was scared. I knew I could not go on like this. I was afraid of not having the energy or ability to get things done, especially with young kids. Forget the big stuff, I am talking about getting out of bed to prepare meals for my kids, take them to school, and laundry ('cause with three kids it is never-ending). The thought of this was frightening!
I kept showing up to my circle of supportive women from my coaching program. I tried to be honest, but it was not easy. I didn't want anyone to think I was not capable. I didn't want to believe it. But if I was exhausted from doing what I 'should' be doing, wasn't I a failure? These thoughts continued to plague. I knew, however, that my typical push through was not possible this time. I knew I would push myself deeper into adrenal fatigue and unable to do anything.
I had to start asking for help, delegating and the biggest obstacle...be willing to receive. Yep, that was the kicker. "Oh no, I am good, I got it." This was what I would say. After all, I am superwoman, right?
I am so grateful for the woman in my life at that time (and they are still my support system). They created a space for me to show up in this messiness, exhausted, feeling crappy and judgemental about myself for not knowing better, and judging my capabilities. These kind, gentle and wise women gave me love, support, and guidance. They encouraged me to be real, to not hide behind the mask of how I thought I should be showing up. They gave me the opportunity to dig deeper, get vulnerable and see what it is that I truly wanted in my life. They helped me to see myself as deserving of help, and the empowerment that comes from being receptive. I am really a sovereign Queen. Now I ask myself, "would a Queen do it all on her own?" Hello, no! She is supported, she delegates, and is beautifully nurtured.
Did you know that by allowing others to help you, it gives them the opportunity to step into their greatness?
This was such a radical shift for me around accepting and honoring my need for help and no longer feeling I was alone. Now accepting support allows me to be of service. It is a beautiful and powerful reframe. There are so many ways to feel supported and be of service.
I learned that I had the right to take care of my needs first and that this was critical to my health and the overall good of my relationships. I learned that my need to rest, to nurture myself and take space for me-time was not being a bad Mom, wife, (you fill in the blank), a failure or less than anyone else. The best part was that I learned to be kind to myself. Self-compassion holds so much healing power. When you think about it, how good was I to anyone if I was not kind to myself? If I am wounded and keeping hitting that wound with self-judgment, I am preventing myself from being in full service to others.
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I am much more open to seeing the ways I am supported and being open to receiving. Today, I am full of gratitude for these woman showing up in my life when they did.This experience, this shift, has influenced my work with clients, helping each person I work with dig into their desires, unmasking what is hidden and tapping into their courage to step into who they are without severing their relationships. It is a beautiful thing when we can be ourselves in our relationships, feel accepted and supported.
This is my story. One of many.
Happy National Story Day!
Do you have a story you would like to tell? I would be honored to hear your story.
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You are supported!