• Cari Sans, Coach & Therapist

Getting Out The Door With Kids


Sometimes getting out the door with kids begs the question…Is it worth it? Sometimes it doesn’t matter because we just have to. Doctor appointments, school, family events…, heck it doesn’t matter if it is this amazing playdate planned for the playground that is for THEM!

You still go through the challenges of saying over and over, and over again…”it’s time to go.” You may have even threatened to walk out the door in the hopes your little one will jump and do what is needed to get moving.

Nope.

Has this happened to you?

Too many times to count I am sure.

Why does it have to be so hard?

I will tell you why. Your child is in his physical body and immersed in what he is doing. Whether it is playing with toys, attempting to play with you or wants to do something that feels good to him. It is all good intentions. Well, maybe for him but not for you who has a certain number of things to do or a certain time to do this or get to wherever it is you need to be.

You are totally in your head. You’re disconnected to where your child is at. Think about where your brain is in your body and your heart. There is a considerable amount of space between the two. Moving down to your heart and deeper into your physical body will move you closer to where your child is at.

Connecting With Your Child

When trying to get out the door you may be throwing out commands to your child like, “it is time to go, please put your shoes on.” With your child being in his physical body, he is not easily able to respond to that type of command. It requires him to move into his head and process what is being said.

This can be stressful.

If your child is stressed, getting her to cooperate is more unlikely and it is only going to increase the stress for you as well, which will further exasperate her. A vicious cycle.

Start by making sure you are ready to leave. If you are not quite ready then you will be running around throwing out all kinds of (even if in a super kind voice) commands until you realize you had asked 10 times already.

So, plan ahead and make sure bags are packed, anything else you need to take along and you are ready to walk out the door.

Now go and collect your child.

Physically get close, make eye contact and engage with your child. Make an observation about what he is doing. “Oh, it looks like you are making those airplanes fly really high,” or “those books you took off the shelf would love to be put on the table so we can read them after lunch.”

You have just connected with your child. Now think of ways you can further meet him at the physical level.

You can try a gentle touch of the arm, a hug or light squeeze. You can even try turning the transition into a game or a song.

Say, “Let’s play a game.” If you have other children, you can use that moment to say, “First we need to gather your sister and ask her to play. We will be going on an adventure and we need everyone to play.” Once you have connected with the other children you can try getting everyone to play or sing.

Your adventure can be turned into an animal bus ride. Your vehicle is the bus and everyone pretends to be an animal and has to act like that animal all the way to the car. Have fun with it!

Prepare to get creative since we all need variety at times, including your child. Your child may find the one thing you do fun and want to do it all the time. Do it! Either way it works out, it will be best for you to be prepared to start the transition and make the time.

Leaving the house can be challenging especially when you are in the mindset of getting out the door. By simply preparing and taking the time to connect and gather your child, will help smooth out this once dreaded transition. Best wishes!

#parenting #relationships

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