• Cari Sans, Coach & Therapist

Love your spouse For Real challenge


With so many Facebook friends posting happy pictures with their spouses for the “7 Day Love Your Spouse Challenge,” I thought it would be even better and more inspiring if a twist was added. Of course sharing your loving photos is nice and all, and it is warming to see so many friends in some of their happiest moments, but what if you inspired others with your love in an even greater way?

Would you participate?

Would you post every day to show others your commitment and your desire to give love?

So many couples feel the strain of every day pressures on them. Is your marriage strained by the stresses of family life, work, finances, children, etc.…? These are just some of the issues that a couple has to manage together under sometimes extremely stressful times.

Let’s face it, many folks feel stressed these days. When stress is high, reactions flow. Reactions can be dangerous and hurt the relationship. There tends to be less patience for the other and interactions can be filled with forms of communication that are like a weapon (shortness, sarcasm, criticism, stone-walling, exiting, etc.…). These weapons can be hurtful.

And if there are children…the marriage may have been pushed to the back burner. No longer first priority in many cases. Like a bank account that has had many withdrawals and no deposits--running in the red.

Does this sound like your relationship?

Is your relationship with your partner/spouse neglected?

Maybe this is not exactly your relationship. You may not be in the red but could use some deposits to create more security. It is good to have a cushion so when there is a withdrawal, your relationship will not feel it so much.

Here is my challenge to you…

“Love your spouse For Real challenge”

Part 1--For the next seven days, I challenge you to love your spouse. To love your spouse unconditionally each day. To think about what it is that your spouse needs and to ask what that is specifically if you are not certain.

Does your spouse need…

  1. Certainty, a sense of safety or security? Knowing things will be a certain way?

  2. Variety, excitement or surprise?

  3. Significance or that she/he matters?

  4. Love and connection?

  5. Opportunities to grow on his/her own or with you?

  6. Opportunities to contribute around the home, in the family or even with others?

As I mentioned last week, these six basic emotional needs exists for all humans and you can use these as a way of improving your relationship. Focus on what your spouse/partner needs and give them what they need from a place of unconditional love.

Part 2-Commit and take action right now. Once you make a decision to participate, you will want to take action immediately. Prolonging will only decrease the likelihood that you will do this. What better time than now to focus on your relationship?

Share daily with others, whether it Facebook or just a conversation with a friend. Sharing will also add to your commitment. Share how you loved your spouse that day. Inspire others to share their love. Rather than posting a picture of you and your spouse at your happiest moments, build happier ones. Build your relationship with your spouse. Best wishes!


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